Forget Resolution and Implement the Solution

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD...

Every year people get all hype about a New Year's resolution that goes right out of the door by the 1st of February and sometimes even sooner.  Why do people set out with high hopes and great intentions but fail to execute?  It's because they are not fixing the solution - THEIR MINDS.

You can write down all the goals you want and speak them into existence but until your mind changes and the values are upheld that constitute change, it's just a futile exercise.  Once the mind is free and clear of noise that clutters up the mental space that is necessary to prioritize goals and set aside time to take the proper actions, the sky is the limit.

I just had to clear my mind of some poor choices of relationships in the past two years by re-reading the book, Calling In the One, by Katherine Woodward-Thomas.  And unknowingly in October, I was well on my way to the mental restoration process needed to only maintain and engage in friendships that serve a benefit rather than create a cost - financially and psychologically.  In fact, reacquainting myself with 1 high school and 1 college friend did the trick because they were always genuine, good-hearted individuals who wanted the best for everyone - even me.

What goes on in your head distracts the mind from productivity.  Now with this newfound perspective on a clutter free mind, I will do a multi-day juice cleanse with with ingredients to sharpen my mental acumen and get a kickstart on my healthy living by continuing my mostly healthy eating habits and consistent workout regimen.

Keeping my mind free is the New Year's solution to go beyond what is visibly possible!

To Whom Much is Given

THE ULTIMATE GIFT FOR GIVERS

No matter the education, athleticism, fame, fortune, or political presence, you have not made it until you reach back and give to others.  Unfortunately a hint of success makes some entrepreneurs, executive leaders, entertainers, politicians, and athletes forget that reaching one person makes for a better community.   Eventually they recognize that money, power, and respect will ebb and flow based on economics, popularity, athletic prowess, and presence but the gratitude of those that are helped is lasting.  

If you are among the fortunate that has built a brand and stayed the course of creating an excellent present and exciting future, it is your job to give back to those less fortunate.  Whether it is for an area of expertise or a cause that has very strong personal purpose, it is better to give than to take.  After all, you have taken deals, contracts, favors, and opportunities to be where you are so why not create a level playing field or give someone else an edge to overcome a challenge?

This is one of the reasons I decided my company, The RLC Group, would be a Hosting Sponsor of the Ray Lewis Family Foundation.   Clearly my twitter (@temekoruns) pictures show that this NYer is a Ravens fan.  More importantly, Ray Lewis' focus on the health and fitness of the youth is aligned with the motivational arm, Run Life's Course, which encourages fitness (specifically running) as a means to change the mindset that a challenge can be overcome.

It started out as sponsorship for kids from New York City to attend the Baltimore Youth Fitness Clinic and awarding a host of technology prizes to the best participants in terms of effort and athleticism.  Two weeks later, it propelled into a conversation with the organizers of the Ray's Summer Days events which turned into gifting the Ray's Kids of Character with high technology prizes.  And justifiably so!  The Kids of Character definitely embody everything the youth should strive to be - involved in the community, excelling academically, leading community and spiritual efforts, and having a true spiritual relationship.  

How much will the laptops help the entering college students that graduated from the Kids of Character?  What educational technology gifts can help give more leverage to some of the other kids?  What will these children look like 10 years from now in their community, church, school, or employment? I don't know the immediate answers.  So the sponsorship package grew tremendously but hopefully it makes an even greater impact than the dollars for some well-deserving youth.

New Yorkers Polite, Runners Unite!

Feverishly working the day away on the left coast, I am exhausted from my volunteer activities.  I am so glad I knew this would happen in advance so as not to waste a trip and hefty expenses to run the Boston marathon on today. But now why am I getting so many calls and FB messages and text messages asking me if I am okay? Oblivious to the news unless it is sports-related, I check twitter.  Yes my source of quick no-chaser info.  It appears there was a bombing near the finish line.  WTH!

After about 10 minutes looking at the jambalaya of mixed reports, I start responding to everyone's emails, calls, text messages.  First my dad who was already comforted in knowing that "he knew I wasn't there".  Of course I did not want him to go through the same feeling of not-knowing for hours on end as he did with the World Trade Center incident.  Next a general post to Facebook because most people are glued to that.

Now here I go again in disbelief, two days later after trying to understand how the world of sports was crumbling (in my eyes) with the Kobe torn ACL and the Tiger penalty post-Masters play.  This one was closer to home because it could have been at ANY marathon in ANY city in ANY country that I run.  Talk about blessed and highly favored!

What an awful experience for the traditional only-elite qualification major run in the country?  But how do these people put their lives back together again after this tragedy?  The injuries, the memories, the feeling of no accomplishment after crossing a finish line marred with drama, the aftermath, the nightmares?  I have no idea but one thing is for sure, marathoners know what it is like to persevere.  Marathoners understand mind over matter.  Marathoners don't quit.  Marathoners will walk or crawl to the finish line because we will make it.  Marathoners will continue to run and not let this take away their freedom.

So tomorrow, in honor of those impacted in Boston (marathoners, families, and innocent bystanders), this New Yorker will rep her blue and yellow.   Giants and Jets fans don't care about the Patriots today; we love the Americans that are Patriots fans.  The Bronx Bombers will stand with Boston and the Knicks will honor Boston too regardless of the bitter sports rivalry.   That's what New Yorkers will do.  Now when it comes to the Knicks taking on the Celtics in the playoffs, we still have to route for the 'orange and blue' but we will still clap for the 'green and white' because New Yorkers know what it feels like to be invaded on what we considered safe territory.

Crushed by Injury, Inspired by the Comeback

COURTESY OF USA TODAY SPORTS....KOBE....

It's that time of the year again - volunteering for my church's women's conference near the end of an exciting NBA season - where I am so exhausted not only do I miss the games but the ESPN highlights. 

Nonetheless, I woke up this morning to go to the morning glory service and was about to tweet until I almost had to pinch myself to wake up from a nightmare - my favorite active NBA and team go-to player, Kobe Bryant, went down last night with a torn ACL.

I couldn't wrap my mind around it but I read in this order the tweets from Dwayne Wade, Stuart Scott, CP3, Lebron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Paul Pierce and I had to come to realization that it was true.  With the promise of volunteering and running a company and handling projects, I said a quick prayer and decided to come back to these emotions.

Now back in my room after the evening session and item lobby discussions, I just checked out the post-game interview and find myself in tears.  How could this be? 17 years of giving 190% in both physical and mental preparation and playing through almost every injury possible and this is how it goes down. And the 2nd to worst part is his almost single-handed effort to will his team to the playoffs in the the fight for the 8th seed, a ranking unbeknownst to long-time Lakers fans. Yes, I know your body starts to wane over time but this is Kobe and in my mind, he is invincible and relentless when it comes to athleticism. 

Now needing some Kleenex from all this crying, I go to my bag and open the side compartment and my Baltimore Ravens bracelet falls out. In teary-eyed vision, I start recollecting"the ride". I pulled out my iPad and at first glance, saw the picture of Peyton Manning and Ray Lewis talking after the Broncos loss in the locker room. Wait! Peyton suffered a neck injury, sat out an entire season with the Colts, and came back with a vengeance with his new team, the Denver Broncos.  Ray Lewis was supposed to be out all season after tearing his tricep but worked his way back and retired with another Superbowl ring. And then there was my picture with Adrian Peterson at iHop during Superbowl weekend.  Not only did he tear the MCL and the ACL but he came back as the NFL MVP and only 8 yards shy of a rushing record. 

All of a sudden I am feeling a little better.  I read Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony's tweets again and they are right.  If anyone, I mean ANYONE, can come back from this, it's Kobe Bean "vino" "mamba" Bryant. He will run this course like no other and inspire us all to come back stronger from our temporary setbacks.  #runmambacourse 

Breaking Point

Since I am back home in the cold (yes it's still 30 degrees in spring), running outdoors was not an option for me.  Instead I went against my desires and went to a class of all women at Physique 57 at the different locations around the city.  Known for the thigh, ab, and glute-intensive workouts, 6 classes in 4 days had me feeling the pain and enjoying the burn.  But something better happened in two of those classes - the opportunity to encourage two older newcomers to continue through the 57 minute class.

One grabbed her towel and walked out and I went to get her and brought her back in.  The other just gave up at the barre before I went to her side. When you think you can't make it anymore because the pain is too great, there is a sense of urgency for encouragement. If you can't encourage yourself, make sure you are around people who can talk you off the ledge. 

As I had a week full of unknowns followed by a week of doing business with some unethical people, the burden is extremely heavy for the smart business woman, who isn't feeling so smart. I can only talk to two people about it and one just didn't get it.  Didn't get that I was at the breaking point - the point where I just want to throw in the towel and leave, just like those two ladies. 

But on my way home in the car, a telephone call from my college buddy was the most enlightening and encouraging moment.  It was good to hear that someone understands that you can pour so much into others' lives that it is draining and lonesome when you can't get that in return from anywhere. But I was encouraged because she reiterated how my life is still a blessing compared to others.  

Tears of agreement dried up because I know it s not in my nature to quit. Maybe this week I can incorporate what I learned in the 57 minutes into a post-run routine when I return to the warm weather.  More importantly I will encourage another because someone encouraged me.

No Pain All Gain

It's been a little over a week and I sprinted one day.  Yes, just one day.  This was after I had already run 9 miles and incorporated 3 miles of hills in the effort. I welcomed the totally winded feeling after each 1/4 mile sprint but I measured my desire to return to running based on how I felt the next day.

The sprints did not cause any pain so I felt like I had not accomplished anything. The 3 mile hill runs had my calves and quads on FIRE and that encouraged me to launch a new challenging regimen. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment but in this case if there is no pain, I gain motivation to ensure my muscles are toning and burning.

Since most of my marathons were on flat courses, I always liked the challenge of running at least one hilly one every other month (e.g. Georgia, San Franisco, etc in that order) because the pain the following day had me feeling like I had done 2000 squats.  So how can I gain my momentum and feel the pain with this busy schedule?

I think I found the trick since running outside is not an option at 5am with this Daylight Savings Time (and remember I hate the treadmills).  I searched online for the workouts of great focused athletes and found now-retired Ravens player, Ray Lewis, making workouts look like a full- time job. Download it on your Apple iOS devices - trust!  Four days in a row I selected a Ray Lewis workout and worked out like an active NFL linebacker.  4am I am looking at Mr. 52 focused on not quitting.  After 8pm I am taking out my frustrations of the day with some forceful kickboxing.  Since running marathon miles is no longer a challenge for me, I plan on 6 mile hill runs each day of this weekend.

Lets see if this week's pain helps me gain some encouragement to run the course! 

Ray Lewis - My Motivation for The Superbowl Trip

For the past four weeks I have watched the Ravens with their exciting surprise victories over the Indianapolis Colts, Denver Broncos, and the "air about them" England Patriots after Ray Lewis announced his retirement from the NFL. It was like extra team effort, his influential motivation, and another step towards destiny were all in place.  At each interview, Ray cited some key biblical quotes that were at the time speaking directly to me based on what I had been going through these past four weeks. Mentally exhausted, fed up with last year's bad experiences, recently experienced unwarranted professional attacks, and continually having to face haters regularly, I felt Ray Lewis every time he said "No weapon formed against me shall prosper".  Here was a man passionately telling my testimony and what I was believing every day since the 2nd week of January to endure.

After I was pacing the floor in my living room during the Ravens  - Broncos game, I kept telling myself that I have to go to the Superbowl to support Ray Lewis if the Ravens pull out a win. And that they did, in OT.  Needless to say I was jumping up and down during that Patriots defeat and again felt Ray's proclamation. So I rushed between the Internet and the phone to make arrangements to get to New Orleans. The result - game tickets were too high, airline prices were exorbitant, available flights did not return me back in time, La Quinta Inns nowhere near the Superdome were $600/night and Marriott Courtyards on the strip were $2500/night.  I couldn't fathom spending the equivalent of three mortgage payments on a Superbowl trip even if Ray Lewis, himself, was footing the bill.  It just wasn't meant to be.

The next morning I wake up to see that a Patriots player's wife made, with a subsequent apology, heinous remarks about past false accusations and the family life of Ray Lewis. Yesterday I watched a clip of Boomer Esiason derogatorily bring up a past incident of which Lewis was exonerated completely and unequivocally over 10 years ago.  Once again, I was disappointed that I could not cheer him on against the haters. 

Since my long commute was adding on physical exhaustion in addition to the other anguish, I decided to check into a hotel near the office last night. The front desk assigned me to room 301.  It felt like a quarter mile walk from the elevator but I was too tired to change the room.  I turned on ESPN SportsCenter (one of the only few shows I watch) and checked my phone for recent tweets and saw hateful comments about Lewis.  I began searching for the reason why he was hated so much because I was in Atlanta for the Superbowl weekend of which the horrible events took place and remember vividly the case.  I watched all sorts of interviews of him, his hard core workout regimen with Monte Sanders, charitable efforts around Baltimore and beyond, and dedication to fatherhood. This dude had some twists and turns and overcame some serious challenges but he is running life's course.  I decided I would give a last ditch effort to get to the Big Dance.

In my room 301 (area code for the Maryland area), I found better game tickets almost on the field, specifically the goal post and tunnel for 50% cheaper on Row 8.  I was able to book airline tickets that fit my schedule and 65% cheaper than what they were two weeks ago.  I found one hotel room available in the entire French Quarter, two blocks from Bourbon, of which I was going to have to share with my friend. But it was reasonably priced compared to the others and convenient to everything including the Superdome. They sent me a confirmation and I knew I was in. I called my BMF of 13 years before retiring to bed and said "We're going to the Superbowl!"

This morning there was nothing these haters could say to me to impact my mood because internally my thoughts were "I am going to the Superbowl."  Two hours ago I received a call from the hotel asst. manager confirming my reservation.  Since I hadn't shared a room since college and I need peace of mind from my week with these haters, I thanked her for the accommodations and asked her if she had two rooms. She promised to put me on a waitlist if an additional room became available.  Thirty minutes ago, she called back and said they had a smaller additional room and would give me both rooms for only $100 more a night. Choked up and fighting back tears, because this is just unreal, I agreed and immediately God reminded me that He can pull anything together in the last minute and when you least expect it.

Ray Lewis and the Ravens, this NYer has your back.  I have renewed hope just because of this trip to the Superbowl. God is always able and these problems will soon pass. In the meantime, I have to go pack for a trip to New Orleans that was meant to be part of my life's course.

My Guilty Dedication to Nike

Lets face it, Nike probably does not make the best athletic gear but they are the absolute in marketing brilliance in their industry and beyond. If you are a marathoner like me, Nike is not on the top list of shoes but their marketing campaigns make me feel like I  need to buy a pair of their shoes or at least their workout gear. But why do I feel the guilt?  It is because time again Nike has a forgiveness like no other when it comes to the so-called fallen athlete who has endorsed them in the past.

Tiger Woods, arguably the best golfer in the world, single-handedly brought excitement to the game of golf.  He brought more money to the sport than any other competitor. It was the right endorsement choice for Nike because viewership for any tournament Tiger participated increased with even the young  spectators.  That Nike swoosh was familiar and Nike Golf was here to stay. And when he had an overexposed fidelity issue, Nike got it.  It was a family issue and they stuck with him and that swoosh is still memorable today as he continues to be the best. 

Both Kobe Bryant, my favorite active NBA player, and Michael Vick ( the quarterback that has been throwing and running like a wide receiver way before RG III , Cam Newton, and Colin Kaepernick) had their issues. Nike let the dust settle and these athletes came back stronger with rebuilt images and a much larger consistent fan base that thirsts for their skills.  

Not only do I buy shoes, shirts, and paraphernalia, I have believed with Nike that everyone deserves a second chance. It reminds me of having true friends who stick by me through thick and thin. Now that's the best marketing any company can put together - forgiveness and dependability. I guess I am going to the Nike store today.  

Words Can Never Describe...

The pain and agony that must be felt by the parents, school staff, and community of Newton, Connecticut. To lose anyone dear to you is difficult but to lose a little one in any situation is unthinkable.

We must focus attention on cherishing the victims and survivors and embracing our own families with love and honor. We must not waste time sensationalizing people who are mentally challenged and downright heartless, if not mentally disturbed, to commit such horrific acts. Let us put an action plan together to stop the mental illness and abuse of children and adults and create better gun laws to protect our children's children.  Generations should not be lost because of these antics. Run the course of social action.

The Rich or Famous Are Just Like You

A little notoriety does not mean exemption from problems.  When a person of modest income and standard living exhibits some emotional concerns, it is normally attributed to a lack of education, finance, profession, or family ties.

But what happens when you have all that and you still have problems?  Your worry may not be climbing the corporate ladder because you are at the top rung. Your concern may be how to stay there because everyone is attacking you to get your position.  Your concern may not be how to pay the monthly bills or pay for the car repair in the next three months. Your concern may be how to maintain a lifestyle if you become unemployed or the second or main breadwinner dies or becomes unemployed in the next 5 years. You may not be worried about child care while you and your spouse work because you have enough money to pay for a round the clock nanny.  However you may be concerned with the education that your child is missing by not being around you and your educated friends all the time due to work responsibilities.  Your concern may never be taking drugs or drinking because you are not around others that partake in those activities.  Nonetheless the money and fame means more access to more prominent and powerful secret things that people are eager to have you take to bring you down or take you out.

Everyone has problems both big and small.  You can not discount another person's problems just because they supposedly have more money, fame, or fortune than you.  We all pray to the same God who is able to keep us from falling.

Keep this in mind before you judge anyone.

RIP Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Kassandra Perkins, Jovan Belcher, Junior Seau

New Level New Devil

Recently promoted?  Recently been rewarded?  New recognition?  Well hold on and don't get comfortable.  This means there is a new group of haters and blockers that are not in your favor.

If you have not torn others down to get to the next level and your brilliance is on the shine and tolerance for nonsense is on the decline, you definitely should be proud of yourself. Most people rise by bringing down others or at least make themselves feel better by doing this. Yet there is an old saying, dig a hole for one and you should dig a hole for two.

Congrats on your achievements but do not get comfortable, complacent, or lazy.  The same way you worked hard to get here is the same way you will have to maintain staying here or at least getting to the next level.  There will be new challenges and new persons trying to disprove your work ethic and intelligence.  Keep track of all your interactions with others.  Be sure you cover yourself and make a strong statement - without being a jerk - that you are here to stay.

If you were not gifted, no one would be standing in your way or blocking you from opportunities.  Only the strong survive and I am cheering for you to thrive not just survive.  Run the course because you definitely may be hindered along the way but you WILL win in the end!

Run Life's Course - Featured in Black Enterprise

Check out the write-up of Run Life's Course in Black Enterprise May 2011 Feature.

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